March 28th, 2007 - The Bottom Line: Hit Rewind
Recently, I wrote a short piece for one of my favorite clients on setting context in conversation. I realized it might be useful to share this (if not for you, perhaps for someone you know). Here goes:
Have you ever listened to an audio recording, then stopped it, and then restarted it? It can be a little confusing. You miss the first couple of words as your mind races to catch up. It’s much easier to rewind or back up a tiny bit to get a running start. The fact is, it takes the human mind a little time to orient and to figure out what’s happening.
Most people have a tendency to dive directly into a conversation and make assumptions about the relationship they have with their audience. To be sure, part of being clear is helping people to understand why they should care about what you are saying. It’s about getting people on the same page so they understand where you are coming from. Setting context in conversations is a profoundly helpful device for establishing a framework for shared understanding.
If, as I understand it, that Terry Winograd says, business is all about conversations and commitments, then you may find it useful to remember that conversations are similar to the audio book analogy. Setting context sets the stage for the content that follows.
In the absence of context, people are momentarily confused. The result is that while the people you are talking to should be listening to you, they are instead scrambling to get a clue about what you are saying, why you are there, what you want, whether they are about to receive good news or bad, etc.
So when you begin a conversation, you can begin by orienting your conversation partner quickly as to where you are coming from, what role you are in, what you want to discuss, and even expose what you want will set the context or frame the conversation productively and positively.
This notion of framing the conversation positively is especially important when you are not face-to-face (i.e., calling on a cell phone) consider always asking the question, “Am I interrupting?” or “Do you have a moment?” then follow with can we talk about x? or I have a question about y? I’d like to revisit our discussion about q.
In most situations, framing things positively is better because it puts people at ease, creates a safe space, and establishes a productive environment for mutual understanding.
Without a doubt, setting context is an art. Too little is not enough and too much may seem ponderous. However, it’s worth the effort to dramatically increase the speed of understanding, build trust, and maintain rapport.
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